The one with the life lessons…

3,650 days, at least 3,650 chances to change my life and 3,650 choices I have made that make me the person I am today and apparently, I have been told that these past 10 years were THE MOST CRITICAL of my life, my 20’s. It will mould and shape how I face into problems, the depth of my moral compass, the quality of my friendships and my ability to handle emotional stress. If you ask me honestly, I am not sure if I have spent the last 10 years the best way possible, but I can be confident in saying that I have spent it the best way I knew how, at the time.

As much as I would love to bore you with the finer details of my life over the last 10 years, I thought it best to just restrain it to my biggest life lessons. Things I have learned the hard way since I left high school.

So here it goes, 15 life lessons of mine:

1. It really is OK to make mistakes. That is how we grow and allow ourselves to make better decisions and how we learn to know what NOT to do in the future. However, it really is not OK to keep repeating those mistakes – you will just end up hurting yourself over and over again until you stop anyway. So just stop the first time, as best you can. If you touch a hot plate and burn yourself; you are hardly going to go and touch that hot plate again and again, are you?
2. People in your life will come and go, so let them. The ones who are meant to stay will make the effort to do so and those who don’t just are not worth your time. There is no such as thing as being too busy, particularly in this day and age where communication is literally at our finger tips. If someone says they are too busy to call, to text, to say a nice thing to you, what they are really saying is that you are not their priority right now and if that is the case, then don’t waste any more of your time.
3. Not everyone you love will be good for you. Sometimes you can’t control who you love but learn to set your boundaries and be resilient; do not let anyone bully you into being something or someone you are not because that is a major loss for the people who really care about you and your well being. At the same time, know the difference between being forced into making a change and actively making the choice yourself to make a change.
4. There is no specific time for when you can make a change, if you want it – start now, there is no better time than the present.
5. Be aware that everything in your life is temporary. So if you’re going through a rough patch, please, please, hold on because it cannot last forever, given enough time and a willingness to allow people who love you into your life. To the same effect, remember to treasure the happy moments, because they will not last forever either. So, make sure you appreciate the people who love you, because you never know when you may not get the chance to anymore.
6. If you find someone who makes you smile, who checks up on you, who watches out for you and wants only the best for you, do not let them go. Keep them close and do not take them for granted. These people are extremely hard to come by.
7. If you want something, anything… you want to be treated fairly, to be loved, to be cared for, give it out to the world and it will return you the favour. I truly believe that the world has a strange way of channelling back to you whatever you give out, so stay positive and kind.
8. When you tell a person that they hurt you, they do not get to decide that they have not. Unfortunately, it is human nature to defend oneself against all accusations first, even if there is truth to what is being said. But never let anyone blame you for a hurt that was caused by someone else.
9. You reap the rewards of the foundations you lay down for yourself today and every day going forward. Just like if you work hard today, you are guaranteed to have a pay day in two weeks’ time. Whatever goals you strive towards, if you work hard at them, you will only ever benefit from the effort in the future.
10. You have more control of your life than you think. Stop waiting for the world to change the things you don’t like about your life. It might be something as simple as changing the type of juice you have in the morning or going to bed 10 minutes earlier. Every small step, adds up to something big in the end.
11. Being comfortable isn’t the way to grow; if you get too comfortable with who you are right now – you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be. So always push yourself, not to the point of insanity, but just enough to keep challenging yourself and being out of your comfort zone.
12. It is better to choose to be alone than to be surrounded by people who do not understand, care or empathise with you. Basically, if people bring you down, it just means you are above them. Whilst it is always nice to reminisce with friends on the ‘good old days’, make sure you always surround yourself with people who drive you and take steps forward with you, who help you grow and help you make tomorrow just that little bit better. 
13. It will always be all the small things in your life that make you smile, so make every moment matter. Making a rash decision without thinking takes less than a minute, deciding to say hurtful things takes less than 10 seconds, being heartlessly silent takes no time at all. Be patient. Be kind. Be understanding. We are all human after all.
14. Each day is a gift, nobody has the right to destroy it – so do not allow that to happen (as far as possible).
15. Always aim to be a better version of yourself, never any version of someone else.

As in the beautiful words of Elizabeth Ros, the most beautiful people we will know in our lives are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen and never forget that each and every one of you is capable of being one.

I hope that in my words you have found some inspiration, some insight and a hope that no matter what happens this year, or in the next 10 years, you are strong enough to Just. Do. You.